Reflection without shame

So what was the big deal. As I sit at home, looking at the lake, it seems inconceivable that 6 more days in Europe was the source of any stress. What was the roller coaster of emotion about? Powerlessness? Fatigue? Uncertainty?

If you were to tell me I was going to be stuck in Amsterdam for 6 days, I would envision a totally different script. Meditating for hours, looking at art, creating art, writing, walking, beer in outdoor cafes. And there was some of that. And there were hours on hold trying to get a flight booked, watching the news to see if relief was in sight, exploring options (boats, rental cars, buying cars (to get to Spain), crowds, and huge crushing lines for service.

At times, I had a lot of trouble centering... the fear of being stuck was so huge. It is embarrassing and yet early on Tom and I had the policy of "no shoulda, woulda, coulda". So instead I am trying to harvest my lessons:

*mindfulness practices now will increase my access to being centered in times of stress (so up the practice)

*I don't need much stuff to be happy -- losing our baggage (later found in Minneapolis) was not a concern. Toothpaste and a one change of clothes kept life simple

*Many times I lost perspective and now I can learn from it instead of use it to beat myself up

*It helps to have support from friends, my husband and anonymous travel agents on the phone. Even the little "thinking of you notes" meant a lot.