"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." ~Carl Jung
Since this was the 3rd reference to our shadow in the last month, I was motivated to learn more. I opened a book I purchased 3 years ago, The Shadow Effect and turned to the website shadowwork.com.
I found out that Carl G. Jung used the term “shadow” to describe the part of the Self that is repressed or denied. Robert Bly in his book, A Little Book on the Human Shadow, says we are born into a "360-degree personality" as infants. Growing up, we learn parts of ourselves are not acceptable to the people around us, and we stuff these “shadows” in a backpack and drag them around with us the rest of our lives.
Shadowworks.com says that you can identify your shadows by looking at what you project onto others. When you deny a trait in yourself, you tend to be very aware of that trait in other people. So listen for blaming, guilt, gossip, or overly reacting to others’ behavior – it is a time you might learn about your shadow.
Also, we can see the shadow in our own inconsistencies – when you say you are going to do something and then don’t. For example, I say I am going to increase my self-care and I continue unhealthy habits. When you repeat behaviors unconsciously, it may be an opportunity to learn more about your shadow.
I had been taught I was supposed to clean up my act and get rid of my shadow demons. However, Depak Chopra in the book The Shadow Effect makes it clear that the “shadow” is not a problem to be solved – it is a fertile field to be cultivated. We can’t cut off parts of ourselves, and the more we evade our own shadow, the more it has power over us. The journey to wholeness means embracing our shadow self.
It is hard work to open the bag that Robert Bly talks about; it can be kind of smelly. Personally, when I started down this path to self-awareness, I wish I had known more about shame resilience (Brené Brown) and self-compassion (Kristin Neff). Facing our shadows and owning all parts of ourselves takes compassion and courage.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
