Noughaval church (upper left) is from the 12th Century. It was not on our maps or in our plan. We stumbled upon it after missing an unmarked ancient burial mound.I approached this retreat without a goal. I had an intention to be present and to move with my energy; to allow the retreat to unfold. As we face our last week, I wonder if I didn't really have a secret wish for a great "aha" or a creative break through. Instead, so far, I have had a series of little lessons. Dis-mantling Fear Early on I did remembered about the power of fear - driving on the wrong side on these narrow roads at high speeds is terrifying. At times when facing a large upcoming vehicle on my left and a stone wall on my right, I felt like I closed my eyes and prayed I had threaded the needle. (I only told Ellie this much later.) After we arrived in our cottage, we did not use the car for a few days. Then we booked a spa day at the Falls Hotel, only 15 miles away. As the car trip approached, I realized how debilitating my fear was; imagining hitting walls and fire-filled crashes. Once I noticed where my mind was going, my first instinct was to deny it, not give it energy. That was not working; so instead I journaled about the fear. It began to disapate right away. With my fear faced, I practiced centering and visualization. The day before the trip, I imagined driving with ease. I did this as I was falling asleep and again in the morning. And I repeated the basic centering practice I learned from Wendy Palmer.
The ride there was OK, periodically I did a quick centering. The drive home was much better; I felt more in control. Now it is almost like getting into the car at home, almost...
Two lane road on Inisheer, Aran Islands
No comments:
Post a Comment