Composing a life

Each of us is an artist of our days; the greater the integrity and awareness, the more original and creative our time will become. John O'Donohue

My life is a musical composition; my choices and reactions are the notes. It is hard to see what I am composing. I can see other people's story-line more clearly. My sister and I were reflecting on our mother's life. She did not have much joy. Neither of us remember her laughing. We do remember her anger. It is sad to know she had choices that she did not see. What choices do I not see or hear? If I stop; if I can find stillness for a period of time I may see my composition more clearly. As a person gifted with the ability "to do", it can take a long time. I can get like Lake Superior when the wind has whipped her into formidable waves. Even though the wind has slowed, settling takes time. I am grateful for my day-to-day reflective practices that I have learned over the years. These are like the spaces between the waves. I can sometimes notice discordant notes; make different choices

And on retreat, I become quiet. The still pond reflects. I may get a new perspective on my melody. How do I compose my moments, my days, my life? What life-affirming choices need to be made?

Positive mindsets help you perform better when challenged

The January/February Harvard Business Review explores the value of happiness. Lots of interesting information in this edition. Just wanted to share one study that gave me hope. This is from the article entitled "Positive Intelligence" by Shawn Achor. He shows a direct causality between life satisfaction and business results. Here is one example, in 2008, they worked with tax managers during tax season to see if they could make them happier. The tax managers could chose between one of five activites:

-jot 3 things they were grateful for
-write a positive message to someone in their support group
-meditate at their desk for 2 minutes
-exercise for 10 minutes
-take 10 minutes to write in their journal the most meaningful experience of the last day

They were do to their chosen exercise daily for 3 weeks. It made a significant difference in their life satisfaction - a measure that has a strong correlation with productivity. The effect was still measurable after 4 months.

I love this because it shows it doesn't take much to make a big difference!

Art of intentional living

Just posted the July radio shows - 2 summarize interviews I did on the art of intentional living. It is only 2 five minute segments so I am sure I will have more to say on the subject. Enjoy!

Gratitude

My friend Pat is posting a gratitude each day on Facebook. What a wonderful idea! I know how much a daily gratitude practice deepens my perspective and elevates my mood. I am not sure I will post every day, but I will focus on restoring my daily practice. In one study, they found remembering 3 blessings a day elevated the mood of chronically depressed adults. I am not depressed, but I tend to lose myself in daily tasks, planning and the mundane. I need to remember how much I have to be grateful for...

Today I am grateful that I had time for a quiet cup of tea, journaling and a good conversation with my husband.

Remembering my Mother

It seems ironic to need an urn just weeks before our official launch of Studio Formå. My mother, Janet Davison Thayer, passed away in July. She had been ill with congestive heart failure for a long time. Still dealing with this loss and all of the tasks that come with death has been hard.

Mom did indicate she was to be cremated and to be buried (along with her husband) in the family plot in NJ. But she never said anything about her urn. Three factors influenced our choice for a commissioned urn:
• She loved art
• She valued being fiscally conservative
• And we (her 4 children) wanted something special to honor her time on this earth

Tom suggested a simple bronze box with something sketched on the outside to reflect her life. He was a bit taken back when we brainstormed 6 different items. He wasn’t sure he could do it; he did and I love the final product.

Tom did not put a protective coating on. As we admire the urn between now and Oct 14 when we inter her ashes, our finger prints become part of the finish.

I imagine a thousand years from now an archeologist discovering this bronze beauty. Looking at the box she will know a bit about Mom’s life and see from this unique urn that she was loved.

The Art of Intentional Living

I have been thinking about this phrase for several reasons. One is our new webiste Studio Forma and the other reason is a presentation I am scheduled to deliver on July 5th. To broaden my thinking I have asked several friends to share their reflections on the art of intentional living. One thing that surprised me is how the friends I picked to interview did not see themselves as role models for living intentionally. Nick Nissley, Dean, Business Technologies
Cincinnati State Technical and Community College, helped me understand this when he differentiated the short story from the long story of intentional living. For the long story, it can look messy day-to-day or even month-to-month.It is only when you look back can you see the series of choices that created an intentional life.

I find that freeing. Some days are reactive and habitual. Some days I show up; more conscious, more intentional. Barry Oshry said, “Life goes on inertia and if we are lucky we get a chance to pull away what really doesn’t fit.” Another friend talked about the gifts of speed bumps. When you are knocked out of your current story and then able to choose a more life-affirming one.

Living intentionally is messy business and may not show on every page of your life; the hope is that it is the underlying theme of your whole story.

What is the art of intentional living to you?

Resilience, Lessons from Brene Brown

Earlier this year, I was delighted and challenged to read Brene Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection". It deepened my understanding of shame. It was comforting to know that my deep fear that I am not _____ (smart, thin,thoughtful, courageous athletic, parent, daughter...)enough is in every human being capable of human connection. In Dr Brown's research she documented what she called "whole hearted people"; people with shame resilience. The day after reading the book, I made a mistake. A big one. A wash of shame filled my gut. Then I remembered the book; I did not have to let shame stay in the driver seat. I remembered 3 keys to resilience: courage, compassion and connection. I admitted my mistake to those involved (and offered to make amends. I shared my story with trusted friends. And I felt compassion for myself. It was a mistake. One that I caught right away. A mistake doesn't make me less than... it is part of the human condition.

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do." Brene Brown, "The Gifts of Imperfection"