Monday, July 15, 2013

Grandma Bench dedicated in my mother's honor

We recently held a small memorial for my mother who passed away 2 years ago.
It has me thinking about legacy and what we bequeath those who follow.
How do we, as Max Lucado says, "outlive our lives"?

For my mother it was launching her children. Though not a nurturing woman, she was tireless in her dedication that all of her children get an education like herself and her parents before her. For my father, who passed away about 20 years ago, it was a life of service. As a committed volunteer and councilman, he touched many lives. It was not only what he did but how he did it - with respect and gentleness. For others the legacy is creating art, how we raise our children or healing ourselves (so we do not pass on the family wounds to another generation).

So I ask myself, how am I living and what would be my legacy as of today?
Would it be getting my 'to-do' list done? What makes a life well-lived? What forms a legacy? I think the first step is to live as Parker Palmer says, an undivided life (where what is on the inside is reflected clearly on the outside). Gandhi said, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Gandhi was committed to living a life with integrity, to always assume responsibility for his actions. He did not back off in front of authority figures and he was ready to die to uphold his principles.

I am not Gandhi. And I am unique. I have a precious life-force; energy to create my next chapter. How do I use it?

My mother left the following quote in a file marked "upon my death". I would be thrilled if this was my legacy:

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to leave the world a better place, to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded."
― Ralph Waldo Emerson